Martin was obsessed with Monica Lewinski.
He carried her picture in his billfold and plastered his office cubicle
with her likeness. His desire for the presidential aide, who became an
instant celebrity when President Clinton admitted to having an affair
with her, drove him to heavy drinking on New Year's Eve.
Walking through the streets of Milwaukee, visiting each bar he could
find, Martin eventually decided on which bar he would choose to ring in
the new year. Entering the tavern, Martin found he was just about as
inebriated as the other patrons. After a few more drinks, he became
delusional. A junoesque brunette entered the bar just as the bartender
was counting down to the new year. Then, at the stroke of midnight, it
happened!
Martin, who was watching the brunette enter, started shouting at her
"Monica, Monica, over here, baby!" As the crowd counted down, Martin
made his way toward the unsuspecting ersatz Miss Lewinski. Martin was
so sexually excited and aroused that the unspeakable happened.
Martin's left testicle exploded! Somehow the exploding testicle set off
a chain reaction that paramedics couldn't explain. The exploding
testicle burst with such force that Martin was killed instantly!
The brunette fled immediately and could not be found for questioning.
